Listening to Lead

Translated by Google Translate

Have I Made Myself Clear?

When I was just starting my career and in the process of looking for a job, I participated in countless interviews, but there was one that I remember for its peculiarity. I was being interviewed for a sales representative position, and although I had to answer many questions, what really caught my attention was that the interviewer, a Regional Manager who, after explaining any point or topic about the position or the company, always ended with the same question: "Have I made myself clear?" At first, I had no problem with this way of ending each comment, but as time went on and this question became more repetitive, I thought, "Why does he always ask me if I've understood? Does he think I don't? Or worse, does he believe I'm not capable of understanding?" Fortunately for me, that process came to a successful conclusion, and I started working at that company, which meant experiencing this same thing repeatedly, not only with the person who had interviewed me but also with members of other teams.

The reality is that having gone through that company was a great experience; it provided me with the foundation for many of the achievements I later attained. Among the many things I learned, one of the most important tools was training in communication. It was there that I understood the reason for the question "Have I made myself clear?" What happens is that most of the time we don't understand what we are told. Based on Edgar Dale's Cone of Experience(1), it is statistically proven that we only learn and remember approximately 20% of what we hear. For this reason, if we want to have effective communication, it is important to ensure that our interlocutor understands what we are saying. This was the basis of that question, which, moreover, in the sales context in which I operated, was essential when speaking with clients and/or buyers.

As leaders, one of the most powerful tools we have to serve people is communication; however, we sometimes mistakenly think that we must ensure we speak like great orators and that it is this skill that will allow us to lead successfully. Unfortunately, the reality is different. Definitely, our public speaking ability can be very useful, especially when we are sending a message to a large audience, but this is not enough to lead effectively.

To truly serve someone and establish ourselves as leaders, the first thing we must do is listen to the person who is speaking to us, try to understand what they are saying, ask questions if necessary, without judgment and with the genuine interest to understand. It is no coincidence that one of the most powerful tools, perhaps the most powerful, that a coach has is their ability to listen actively. This often implies not only hearing what is being said but also seeing what is happening, interpreting gestures, the surrounding environment, and all the other elements that make up the context in which communication is taking place. Furthermore, what is not said can often be more important than what is said.

Communication is one of the main pillars for being an inspiring leader. But effective communication is much more than speaking clearly, concisely, and forcefully. While that is fundamental for any leader, the people we serve will seek us out not for our oratory skills but for our ability to listen to them, help them reflect, and find their best version—that is one of the most powerful tools we have. The next time you sit down with someone to talk, try to listen to understand and not to respond.

(1). If you want to know more about Edgar Dale's Cone of Experience, visit: https://www.growthengineering.co.uk/what-is-edgar-dales-cone-of-experience/